News Article 1

By Lauren Keene/Enterprise staff writer

Earlier this year, Davis resident Cecilia Gabrielli-Villanueva and her family suffered the most painful loss one can ever know - the death of their son and brother, 14-year-old Maximilian Alexander Sanchez. A Holmes Junior High student known for his hard work, determination and love of sports such as golf and snowboarding, Max died of sudden heart failure on the morning of Feb. 17.

On Dec. 3 - the day Max would have turned 15 - Gabrielli-Villanueva, her family and their friends will take part in an unprecedented, worldwide release of balloons in memory of hundreds of children who were taken away far too soon. It was Gabrielli-Villanueva who helped spur this major event after a woman in one of her support groups for bereaved parents suggested she release balloons in Max's memory as a method of grief recovery.

"There are a couple of ways to deal with grief. You can lock yourself up in your room, you can pretend nothing happened, or you can do something different," Gabrielli-Villanueva said. "I wanted to remember Max in a positive way, and this is a way to celebrate our children's lives."

In the weeks following Max's death, Gabrielli-Villanueva sought support in dealing with her loss through groups such as The Compassionate Friends and Grief Recovery Online for All Bereaved, or GROWW. Through TCF's online site, thecompassionatefriends.org, Gabrielli-Villanueva met Diane Heyerdahl, a Maui resident who lost her 13-year-old son, Michael, in January. Drawn together by the similarities in themselves and the sons they lost, the women forged a friendship so strong, they act as though they've known one another for decades instead of just six months. "We have a very powerful connection," said Heyerdahl, who came to Davis last week to visit Gabrielli-Villanueva and her family. It was the first time the two women had met face-to-face. Next month, Gabrielli-Villanueva and her family will visit Heyerdahl in Maui, where the women will participate in the worldwide balloon release.

"Dealing with the holidays after you've lost a child is a big consideration," Gabrielli-Villanueva said. "We're very family-oriented, so the holidays are a really big deal for us. I decided I didn't want to be in Davis, and that we should do something different." With Max, Gabrielli-Villanueva and her family usually participated in snow-related activities during the holidays. This year, they decided to do the opposite, choosing instead the tropical environment of Maui.

Gabrielli-Villanueva and Heyerdahl shared their balloon-release plan with two other grieving mothers they befriended, and they, too, agreed to release balloons from their home states of New Jersey and Florida. One of the women later posted a message on GROWW's online child-loss message board, inviting other parents to take part in the effort. "If anyone wants to send balloons up from where they live, then all our children will get balloons in heaven from all over the world!" she wrote. The response was enormous.

"It absolutely took on a life of its own," said Heyerdahl, who posted a map of the world in the hallway of her home and used push-pins to mark balloon-release sites. The pins soon marked all 50 U.S. states and numerous countries throughout the world. Gabrielli-Villanueva and Heyerdahl now have a list of more than 350 locations were parents and friends will release balloons on Dec. 3, and the list grows with each passing day. The women also get e-mail messages from mothers, "expressing gratitude that they have something positive to look forward to for the holidays," Heyerdahl said. All the participants have agreed to follow a balloon release code of conduct in order to minimize the risk of danger to the environment. More information about this and other aspects of the Dec. 3 event is available on a new Web site, www.balloonrelease.com .

At sunrise on Dec. 3, Gabrielli-Villanueva and Heyerdahl will ascend to the top of the volcano Haleakala, where they'll recite the names of all the children having balloons released in their memories that day. Afterward, they, their families and friends will release two bouquets of balloons - 15 for Max, 14 for Michael to represent how old they'd be that day - from Hookipa, then paddle with the Kihei Canoe Club out into the ocean, where a Hawaiian priest will chant a blessing for the children and their families. Gabrielli-Villanueva and Heyerdahl also plan to do something extra for their sons. On Dec. 2, they'll release 100 butterflies by the Seven Sacred Pools, a series of tranquil pools and waterfalls situated southeast of Hana.

And on Dec. 8, they and their families will participate in The Compassionate Friends' annual candle-lighting ceremony, conducted on the second Sunday of each December in memory of children who have died. During the candle-lighting, each participant lights a candle at 7 p.m. in their time zone, so that when candles burn down in one time zone, they are lighted in the next and create a 24-hour wave of light around the globe.

Gabrielli-Villanueva's son Denny Sanchez, 18, who along with his stepfather, David Villanueva, sister Julia, brothers Jake and Glen and several of their friends will participate in the events in Maui, said he's proud of what his mom has accomplished in Max's memory. "I think it's pretty cool, how she organized something so big. It really affects a lot of people," Sanchez said. "It helps people get along with their lives a lot easier, knowing there's a lot of other people out there to support them."

Friends are invited to visit a Web site established in Max's memory: www.angelfire.com/poetry/4mykidz/max.html .

- Reach Lauren Keene at mailto:lkeene@davisenterprise.net

Monday, October 28, 2002