News Article 6

Families that have lost a child will come together to light candles for National Children's Memorial Day on Sunday. 

The Sacramento Valley Chapter of The Compassionate Friends, a child-loss support group, will meet from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. at Caffe Italia, 1121 Richards Blvd., Davis. Anyone who has experienced the death of a child is invited to attend. 

National Children's Memorial Day is a worldwide event. This is the first time a group has come together locally to take part in the candle-lighting ceremony. 

Davis Resident Cecilia Gabrielli-Villanueva planned the gathering. Her son, 14-year-old Max Sanchez, died from an undiagnosed heart condition in February. 

The local candle-lighting ceremony came together after Gabrielli-Villanueva (co) planned a worldwide balloon release to take place on Dec. 3, Max's birthday, in memory of her son, and hundreds of other children who have died. 

A woman in one of her child-loss support groups suggested Gabrielli-Villanueva release balloons as one way to deal with her grief.

Gabrielli-Villanueva shared this idea with Diane Heyerdahl, a Maui woman she met in an online support group who lost her 13-year-old son, Michael, in January. 

They told a few other parents about the planned balloon release and posted a message on an online child-loss message board inviting others to take part. Gabrielli-Villanueva said 600 families will participate around the world. 

Gabrielli-Villanueva, her husband, David Villanueva, and children, Jake, Denny, Julia and Glen, will travel to Hawaii to release balloons with Heyerdahl. At the top of the volcano Haleakala, they will read the names of all the children having balloons released in their memories that day. Then they will release 15 balloons for Max, and 14 balloons for Michael to represent how old each would have been. 

In response to publicity about the balloon release, some parents talked to Gabrielli-Villanueva about getting together to take part in The Compassionate Friends' annual candle-lighting ceremony. Candles are lit at 7 p.m. (for one hour) in each time zone to create a wave of light around the world as candles burn out in one zone and are lit in the next to remember the children who have died. 

Gabrielli-Villanueva says she anticipates 50 to 80 people will take part in the local ceremony. A poem will be read, everyone will light candles, and probably share stories about their children. Dessert will also be served. 

"It's really important for us as parents to remember our children in a way that's positive with people who understand," Gabrielli-Villanueva said. 

"It's a day when we get together and spend time remembering our children. This is for them." 

She said Max enjoyed snowboarding and playing golf, was in the Cub Scouts and played Little League when he was younger and was on the Holmes Junior High School basketball team. Max was always joking and making funny faces, she remembered. 

Gabrielli-Villanueva said once someone loses a child it changes them forever. "You just cope with it day by day," Gabrielli-Villanueva said. 

Larry Miller of Woodland plans to attend the candle-lighting ceremony. His 19-year-old son, Eric, died about 10 years ago in a jet ski accident. 

Miller said that he and his wife have been involved with The Compassionate Friends for several years and attend the group's monthly meetings, often helping to console parents coping with the recent death of a child.

On Dec. 8, they will light a candle to remember Eric, who enjoyed camping, fishing and other outdoor activities, liked country music and earned the rank of Eagle Scout, the highest award in the Boy Scouts. 

Miller said it will be nice for families to come together and share memories of the children they have lost. 

"It helps parents I think. You know you're not alone...you're around people who know how you feel," Miller said. "It's all about the children and remembering our children." 

Candles will be available for those who don't bring their own. Parents may bring photos of their children to place on a memory table. 

Refreshments have been donated. Event sponsors include Caffe Italia and Absolute Mortgage in Davis.

There will be limited space at the restaurant, so those planning to attend are asked to make a reservation by calling Cecilia at (530) 219-8099 or Darlene Johnson at (916) 457-4096 or send an email to maxzmom@balloonrelease.com.

--Sharon Stello can be reached at (530) 406-6231 or sstello@dailydemocrat.com.