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Maximilian Alexander Sanchez I
December 3, 1987 ~ February 17, 2002
We Love You, Mookie!
http://www.geocities.com/ourangelboy7/max1.html
http://www.geocities.com/ourangelboy10/max2.html
Happy Birthday Max ~ Your sister Jules
~ BEREAVED BIRTHDAYS ~
Birthdays are a time for celebration
Not a time for tears
But what happens when the birthdays
No longer mark the years
A birthday marks the moment
A spirit enters earthly life
To share its special love and joy
And learn from earthly strife
Before a spirit comes to us,
It Knows when and how it must depart
It chooses its path carefully,
We are honored from the start
The sadness we now feel on such a joyous day
Is longing for our loved one's touch
It's natural to feel this way
For even though the birthdays
No longer mark a spirit's stay
Love continues on forever
To touch us everyday
We hug our precious memories
Close to our hearts
And honor our beloved children
Who chose us from the start.
Christmas Memories
Death does not have the power to take
The memories so precious left in your wake
The years filled with love and laughter and joy
The time with our precious growing up boy
Nothing can take the impression you made
Not one moment or memory would we trade
The empty spot left when we had to part
Remains a reminder of all we had, in our hearts
And though you are missing on this Christmas Day
You're never forgotten, your memory will stay
Copyright, Cecilia Gabrielli, 2005
If Tears Could Build A Stairway
If tears could build a stairway
And memories were a lane
We would walk right up to heaven
And bring you back again.
No farewell words were spoken
No time to say goodbye
You were gone before we knew it
And only God knows why.
Our hearts still ache in sadness
And secret tears still flow,
What it meant to lose you
No one can ever know.
But now we know you want us,
to mourn for you no more,
To remember all the happy times,
life still has much in store.
Since you'll never be forgotten, we
pledge to you today, a hallow
place within our hearts.
Author Unknown
I have heard people say “I don’t know what I would do if one of my kids died. I would just DIE if something happened to them.” Note for the reader: No, you would not die, you would probably wish you would die, but you would continue to breathe, in spite of yourself. The amount of love you have for your child serves to exacerbate the pain of loss, but it will not kill you, and, hopefully, eventually, it will help you to come to a place where you feel a fullness and realize that you are a better person for having known them, and the greatness, the significance of their life will outweigh the horror of losing them. That is the struggle, to get to that place. I fight that struggle every day. Some days I am there, and others, I find it difficult to muddle through the day.
Cecilia Marie Gabrielli,
Copyright, All Rights Reserved.
March 16, 2005
::
Gates of Prayer -
Reform Judaism Prayer Book
As long as we live, they too will live;
For they are now a part of us:
As we remember them!
At the rising sun and at
its going down we remember them.
At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter we remember them.
At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring we remember
them.
At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer we remember
them.
At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of the autumn we
remember them.
At the beginning of the year and when it ends we remember them.
As long as we live, they too will live, for they are now a part of us.
As we remember them. When we are weary and in need of strength we
remember them.
When we are lost and sick at heart we remember them.
When we have decisions that are difficult to make we remember them.
When we have joy we crave to share we remember them.
When we have achievements that are based on theirs we remember them.
For as long as we live, they too will live,
For they are now a part of us, as we remember them.
All I Have Left
Some days, when I am alone, I cry
I cry for the times that we will not have together
The trip to Italy that you would make this summer...this was your year, son
For the graduations we won't celebrate
The marriage that will never happen
The absence of beautiful grandchildren, with their father's timeless eyes
The eyes that are millennia old, that came from my grandfather's line
And then I look up, and see your picture
I have pictures of you all over the house, and I carry your school ID with me
I look into your eyes, and I can see you looking back
I remember what a happy child you were
I remember everything
I remember the day you were born
The special dinner at the hospital
The little bottle of champagne that says "Mom" on the front of it
I remember your sweet, shy smile
I remember that you wouldn't allow anyone but me to give you a glass of milk
I remember that you slept on your little youth bed
Right next to my bed, every night, until just before kindergarten
Unless, of course, you were sleeping in Julia's room, with Jules and Nana
I remember that you loved Grandma so much that even when she was being very naughty, you would say "But she's your MOM!"
I remember you fishing at Berkeley Pier and Lake Chabot with Uncle and Grandma
I remember you running very, very fast, racing your brothers and sister
I remember you riding that burro, "I wanna ride a MULE!"
I remember Disneyland and Pinecrest and all the rides and s'mores
I remember picking you up and hugging you tight, and carrying you around the kitchen when you were as tall as me, saying "I'll HUG YOU WHEN I WANT TO!"
I remember first grade, and second, and third, and fourth, and fifth, and sixth,
I remember the half of seventh grade that you completed
I remember the impression that you left upon your teachers, your peers, and your brothers and sister
I sometimes see you in your brother and sisters' eyes
I see you clearly there, looking back at me
I have so much
People can say whatever they choose
They can say that crying over the loss of your child 2 1/2 years later is a bit much
They can say that I haven't been *quite the same* since your death
And you know, son, they're right
I am forever changed
And that's okay. I honestly prefer myself, who I am, now, over the me that existed before your death
I am more honest, more direct
I have clear and concise boundaries
I KNOW, beyond the shadow of a doubt what is important
I also know what is not
NO ONE can steal you from me
Ever
Because for the rest of my life, and beyond, you will remain with me, and
it is because of you that I have become a better, more compassionate person
Grief is the agonizing reminder of the greatest loss a parent will know
Joy is the feeling that I have when I am together with my children, and feel your presence
Hope is looking into their eyes, and seeing a piece of you there, knowing that you are not truly gone forever, that we will always be together
I love you Moooookie
~Mawm~
Copyright, Cecilia Gabrielli, 2004
Caylee
I remember the first time I held you that morn.
They said it's a girl! Our first child was born.
We sat there together, your Papa and I,
we stared in great awe and together we cried.
Later that evening, alone in our room,
I held you and sang a lullaby tune.
I remember each moment, in the happiest way.
The day you were born, the most wonderful day.
All through the years, grew a more loving child
and all through the years I sang our lullaby.
You were small and loving, but loud and bold.
Our little princess, "no, I not a princess, I Caylee" you told.
You were a trendsetter with Karma, a patriot at best.
"No it doesn't match", and so you would do the rest.
You'd laugh with your whole heart, with even a smile.
You looked just like me, my "Mini-Me", my child.
Your socks you wore up to your knees,
Purple and Pink you wore them with glee.
Black Boots, Pink Boots and Mary Janes,
Hats a Plenty, stomp puddles in the rain.
Riley, Morgan, Jordan, Corbin and pets,
like Elmo the Turtle and Red the Fish.
Smokey, Chico, Lelu and Tweety,
you loved them all you were such a sweetie.
Futterflies, Hearts, Aunt Genal and Umple Geoff,
Papa, Mama, Grandma and Mutter Betts.
Fairytopia was important, as was Dragon Tales,
Lilo, Aurora, Spongebob and Higgleytown
"Awe Pickles" you'd snare.
You loved your TV, and once did say,
Thank you to Jesus for TV on a November day.
Scooby and Spiderman and Shrek you would watch,
you would watch them over and over a lot.
Pink Skateboard you wanted, Pink Socks, Pink Shirt,
Pink on your toe nails, Pink on your skirt.
Tights and Party Dresses, hair up, "I don't want to",
rock hunting, afraid of the water, "For ME?" when we'd buy you something new.
Where's Caylee? Where's Caylee? - "Here I am",
Did you Get your heart back?
"I had a GOOOOOOD day at school", "I need my backpack".
"Mommy, this is for you" and hand me a flower,
I picked it outside, "I love you" "I love you"
I am gonna get you, then hide.
"Mommy, I did it all myself", a little independent and outspoken,
"Eyes, Ears, Nose, Mouth, Ho-----!" (HAIR) No, she would, not Jokin.
"I'm so mad" she'd say at "You and You"
and run down the hall into her room.
She would draw and color and loved stickers and mommy,
chocolate milk, cheetos, coke, tea and cherones
Then one day, came home with a fever.
Was happy and playing, we did not know what would be.
The next day she was sicker, the doctors were wrong,
not a virus, not a cold, no, I wish I'd known all along.
She wanted her tights with her new dress that Sunday,
"FOR ME ?" she said and we went on her way.
She asked me "behind me" to lay on her hospital bed,
I laid beside her and kept kissing her head.
Diagnosed with Leukemia that day, the next night was gone.
I remember her saying, "I want to watch TV",
not hearing another word spoken from our sweet little Caylee.
Before she died that evening, with one nurse in our room,
I stroked your hair and sang our lullaby tune.
I remember each detail, in the worst way.
The day you died, the most horrible day.
All content © 2005 by Dawn Cepero - Caylee's Mom.
Andrew....Our Miracle, Our Angel
God created the heavens and the wind in the trees
He gave us sun in the morning and the big bumble bees
After all this beauty, God still wasn't through
So he created a angel, and named him Andrew
Andrew came to us one day in December
A small fragile angel we'd always remember
This Little one needed so much just to live
No one could image how much he would give
This small little Angel showed us a way
To find the joy of living each and everyday
Asking the question "What is your name?"
Forever our lives were never the same.
A few favorite things this angel had too,
like chewing gum, thin mints and cold Mt. Dew,
Pennies in the pockets of his worn overalls,
and rides on a cycle with his loving grandpa.
This Angel named Andrew, So loved you could see
by Mommy, Daddy and his whole family.
He thrived and he grew beyond all expectation,
this work of the heart, Gods lovely creation.
Then, as God planned he called Andrew home.
But he promised the family they were never alone
See, Love is a spirit that grows within you,
as we live every hour, we remember... Andrew
Though we can't kiss him or caress his sweet face,
We can still one day see him in a beautiful place,
Where all children are happy and angels abound-
This is where our little Andrew is found.
Living on Earth just wont be the same
without our little Angel, Andrew's his name.
Someday we will find him, when its our name God calls-
We will see our Angel with pennies in the pockets of his worn overalls.
Andrew Craig Hooker
http://home.comcast.net/~cdmaa/
12/10/96 - 01/09/01
All content © 2002 by Angel Andrew's Family.
A Sister’s Love
When the visions around you
Bring tears to your eyes
I’ll be your strength
I’ll give you hope
For a sister’s love never dies
I promise you never
Will you hurt anymore
I’ll be your strength
I’ll give you hope
For a sister’s love never dies
Over and over your heart breaks
Without me in your life
I’ll be your strength
I’ll give you hope
For a sister’s love never dies
I will love you forever
Even now that my life is through
I’ll be your strength
I’ll give you hope
For a sister’s love never dies
You are never alone
My arms are always wrapped around you
I’ll be your strength
I’ll give you hope
For a sister’s love never dies
Copyright, 2004, Holly Graham
"The Melissa Star"
Tonight I look up at the stars far away, and wonder just how far you are.
I wish you could tell me you are ok.
I hope you are happy on your star far away.
I love you , miss you, and long for you each day.
But I know you are happy on your star far away.
I will love you forever
Your Grandmother
Copyright 2004, Linda Brown, All Rights Reserved
"IN THE LIGHT"
A shadow of joy flickered; it is me.
I told you I wouldn't leave.
My spirit is with you.
My memories, my thoughts are
imbedded deep in your heart.
I still love you.
Do not for one moment think
that you have been abandoned.
I am in the Light.
In the corner, in the hall, the car, the yard --
these are the places I stay with you.
My spirit rises every time you pray for me,
but my energy comes closer to you.
Love does not diminish, it grows stronger.
I am the feather that finds you in the yard,
the dimmed light that grows brighter in your mind,
I place our memories for you to see.
We lived in our special way,
a way that now has its focus changed.
I still crave your understanding and
long for the many words of prayer
and good fortune for my soul.
I am in the Light.
As you struggle to adjust without me,
I watch silently.
Sometimes I summon up all the strength of my new world
to make you notice me.
Impressed by your grief,
I try to impress my love
deeper into your consciousness.
As you should,
call out to the Heavens for help.
You should know that the fountain of youth does exist.
My soul is now healthy.
Your love sends me new found energy.
I am adjusting to this new world.
I am with you and I am in the Light.
Please don't feel bad that you can't see me.
I am with you wherever you go.
I protect you,
just as you protected me so many times.
Talk to me and somehow I will find a way
to answer you.
I see you with my new eyes.
I am learning to help wherever you are,
where ever I am needed.
This can be done because I am in the Light.
When you feel despair, reach out to me.
I will come.
My love for you truly does
transcend from Heaven to Earth.
Finish your life with the enthusiasm and zest
that you had when we were together in the physical sense.
You owe this to me, but more importantly,
you owe it to yourself.
Life continues for both of us.
I am with you because I love you
and I am in the Light...
~ Author unknown
Have You Heard Of The Angel
From Up Above?
Have you heard of the angel from up above?
She comes out every night, to let her family know that she's alright.
When you stand out in the moon light and look up above, you can see the stars twinkle so bright.
That's the angels from heaven above.
She was taken so young and now she must live with the angels in heaven above.
We'll be together one day, but for now we must look up at the stars,
so our little angels can look down at us from
heaven above.
Copyright 2003, Victoria Brown, All Rights Reserved
Dear Mikey
Chipmunk cheeks
Big brown eyes
Laughter that could
Reach the skies
What were you thinking
When you died?
The last words that
I spoke to you
Words of anger
Words I rue
Can you please
Forgive me, Boo?
Sadness here
Heavy and blue
Why couldn't my love
Sustain you?
Can't you see that
I miss you, too?
Shredded heart
Ripped and torn
Memories of you
the day you're born
So many more
My head's a storm
The days go on
Time passes by
The air is heavy
With my sighs
I yearn for you
When will I die?
Comfort me and
Heal my heart
Touch my soul and
Do your part
Just as you have
Right from the start
I will go on
To honor you
Remind the world of
A son so true
I will survive
But I don't want to
Each new day
Brings hope and pain
The sun, it shines
My soul, it rains
I smile because
I'll see you again
It's just a matter
Of time you see
I'll be with you
You'll be with me
When my death comes
I'll be set free
When I hurt the most
I feel you near
Echoes of your heart
I can still hear
Death is temporary
I have no fear
Copyright,
all rights reserved, Diane Heyerdahl, 2002
Death Leaves A Heartache No One Can Heal,
Love Leaves A Memory No One Can Steal.
From a headstone in Ireland.
Watching Me
Over his shoulder, watching me...
Michael my son, what do you see?
Me struggling with life,
Just trying to be...
How can my sadness
Ever be set free?
Over his shoulder, watching me...
From Heaven above, what do you see?
Your Brother Robby and I
Huddled beneath your tree...
Him holding me close,
Trying to comfort me?
Over his shoulder, watching me...
Michael my son, what do you see?
Me at your spot
Gazing out to sea...
Holding your picture,
Watching you watching me....
Copyright, all rights reserved. Diane Heyerdahl, 2002.
Memory Locked in Rhyme
In Loving Memory of Michael James Heyerdahl
11/9/88----1/12/02
Precious dreams in time worn memory along slow seas slide
a breakdown of the moments life has held in a glide
a thought of you and a diamond tear starts to fall
a drifting remembrance of how we went through it all
though alas at times i feel your presence near
and brought back to me in twilight everything that i hold dear
in conflict, pain and sadness rumble on every breeze
but to know you are watching me brings my heart to an ease
eyes which are seen in the rays of the setting sun
there is still more i must do life is not yet done
in the latest of hour the moon does light your face
then again i am carried to that oh so special place
waves crash upon the shore dancing in the light of the moon
a comforting thought within me is that we'll be together soon
floating through my dreams in endless cascades of time
a little boy and his smile forever locked in rhyme....
By: Mathew Keoki Robello,
Copyright 2004. All rights reserved.
Will
You Give Me My Son Back?
So, God, if I do all of
this, will you please just give me my son back? I don't care about any
newspapers or any glory. I don't care about money or notoriety. Just,
please, give me my son back. I promise never to miss a basketball game
again, and never to be late picking him up. I'll never ignore him, or
make him wait, while I work. Please, God, I'll fight the fights, I'll
get rid of dog parks, and build children's memorial parks, I'll host
candle lightings, and I'll help parents who recently lost kids, but
could you do one thing for me? Just...give me my son back. That's all I
really want.
Copyright, 2003, Cecilia
Gabrielli, all rights reserved
Into The Deep
In the still, clear waters
Your ashes, they sleep...
I released you my son,
Into the deep.
My soul shattered that day...
My heart, it does weep...
The pieces in shards...
They lie in a heap.
My times spent with you
Through my fingers, they seep
But my Mikey memories
Forever alive, I will keep.
Copyright, all rights reserved. Diane Heyerdahl, 2002.
Michael my son
Your Life you did take
Leaving me to deal
With all this heartache
Pain washes over me
At every daybreak
This was not meant to be
Your death, a mistake
Michael my son
What was waiting for you
So much future ahead
Of your life it is true
Did some sadness just come
And overtake you
For what you have done
Has taken my life too
Michael my son
You will know no more strife
You will never grow old
Never have a good wife
I know you can see me
In your afterlife
But the way that I lost you
Cuts me like a knife
Michael my son
Can you look down and see
I'm so different today
Is this sad person me?
My dreams for you shattered
I'll never be free
You were so full of Life
How can this be?
Michael my son
Help me to get through
Of this grief that I wear
Like an unseen tattoo
The last vision of you
Has left shock residue
My sanity in pieces
For what I once knew
Michael my son
My thoughts are adrift
My time spent with you
I see as a gift
Your way about you
was to always uplift
I'm grateful your passing
Was painless and swift
Michael my son
Beloved second child
Your life was your own
Your character self styled
Everyone you met
You simply beguiled
But your temper my son
So volatile and wild
Michael my son
For you I do grieve
But I have a new dream
I wish to achieve
To help others in sorrow
For all who bereave
This mission given to me
By you, I believe
Michael my son
Hope is hard to come by
All the signs that you send me
For my spirit, fortify
It's the strength that I need
To know the butterfly
Thinks when spinning it's cocoon
That it will soon die
Not knowing what God knows
In the breath of God's sigh
That soon it will transform
And be flying high....
Copyright, all rights reserved. Diane Heyerdahl, 2002.
My sweet baby Nicole
was stillborn February 3, 2002, 2 years ago. I am still heartbroken
beyond words and miss her so much. Below is a poem I wrote for her
Birthday
HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY,
NICOLE
Happy 2nd Birthday, I hope you’re having fun,
Running and playing in the glow of Heaven’s sun,
We wish you were here with us, to eat your Birthday cake,
But since you aren’t with us, happiness we’ll fake.
I remember this day two years ago, when God broke my heart,
I never ever thought that we would be apart,
Your bedroom was all ready and your closet full of clothes,
The draws were full of ribbons and little hair bows.
If you were here right now, I wonder what you’d like,
Would you want a pretty doll or maybe a little bike?
Would your hair be straight or have a little curl?
What would you look, my sweet little girl?
Happy 2nd Birthday in heaven up above,
Just know that Mommy and Daddy send you all of our Love,
We’re sending hugs and kisses, they are on their way,
To let you know we are missing you on your Birthday.
So have a lot of fun with Balloons and Ice Cream,
And when you go to sleep, have really sweet dreams,
And know that we are down here missing you so much,
And wishing we could feel your soft baby touch.
Happy 2nd Birthday Sweetie!
Nicole Ann Garretson
February 3, 2002.
Her webpage address is http://www.angelfire.com/nj4/nicoleann/index.html
Copyright, Lisa Deck-Garretson, 2004
The following speech was written by Glen Sanchez as his 8th grade English and Social Studies Term Project.
It is the first time he has been able to speak or write publicly about the loss of his brother, Max, which occurred on February 17, 2002.
~Facing Challenges~
People have to face challenges throughout their lives. For some, a speech that sounds like it might be simple to write is the biggest challenge they might face in 8th
grade. For others, it might be dealing with family problems, sometimes even death. A couple of good examples from our quarter studies include scenes in April Morning, when Adam had to sign the muster book, and when he saw his father die. And in Iron Will, when Will fell down and had the courage to get up and win the race so that he could support his family.
However great or small the challenge may seem, what defines us as people, what defines our character, is how we handle ourselves in the face of adversity.
One of the people who I look up to for facing adversity and challenges in their lives is my mother. She always speaks what is on her mind, and never backs down from a challenge. Even one as big as dealing with the loss of her son. I can always count on her to stand up for me and for what she believes in. My father has had many losses in his life, including his brother, both of his parents, and his son, all who died suddenly and unexpectedly, but he continues to work hard and spend time with his children, even though we live far apart. Another is my brother, Denny, who had to work very hard to graduate from high school on time, even though he was in the process of dealing with grief. My sister Julia always stands up for her family, and for the right thing, even if it gets her in trouble. My brother Jake is a good father and brother. And, finally, my brother Max, who always worked hard and stood up for the right thing, and, like Julia, always stood up for his family. This is my family. I can always rely on them to help me get through my challenges.
Copyright, 2003, All Rights Reserved, Glen Sanchez
My Brother Max
Max knew all the facts
He loved me
But now I know he is free
I am so sad
Sometimes even mad
But I know his short life had to mean something
He probably wants me to know that
Well, I want him to know something too
I love him dearly and I feel bad
Because I can still touch
Because I can still feel
Because I can still love
But I think he already knew that
Now he is at rest probably looking down on me from Heaven
This all might be a sign to love and cherish what you have
While you still do
And don't be mean
Because you never know when they are going to go
In loving memory of Maximilian Alexander Sanchez I
Copyright, All Rights Reserved, Glen Sanchez, 2002
Do you mind?
Do you mind if I kneel for awhile,
and wish you the best?
Wherever you are?
Are you lost?
Do you need help, out?
Is this rest, what you wanted?
Do you miss me?
I miss you.
Things were cut way too short,
I never said the things I really
wanted to say.
And I said a lot of things I never
really wanted to say.
I lay in bed, with my memories,
thinking. How things were before,
about all the things we didn't do,
or didn't say to each other.
I know sometimes you come around,
and put your hand on my back,
just to watch me jump.
I know sometimes your there,
preaching your support,
when things fall apart.
Did you mind,
that I knelt before you,
and said the things,
I never thought I'd have to say,
in a cemetery,
to someone I knew.
© Copyright 2002. Zack van Brakle
**NEW YEAR'S WISHES FOR BEREAVED PARENTS **
To the newly bereaved: We wish you patience - patience with yourselves in the painful weeks, months, even years ahead.
To the bereaved sibling: We wish you and your parents a new understanding of each other's needs and the beginnings of good communication.
To those who are single parents: We wish you the inner resources we know you will need to cope, often alone with your loss.
To those experiencing marital difficulties after the death of your child: We wish you a special willingness and ability to communicate with each other.
To those who have suffered the death of more than one child: We wish you the endurance you will need to fight your way back to a meaningful life once again.
To those of you who have experienced the death of an only child or of all your children: We offer you our eternal gratitude for serving as such an inspiration to the rest of us.
To those of you who are plagued with guilt: We wish you the reassurances that you did the very best you could under the circumstances, and that your child knew that.
To those of you who are deeply depressed: We wish you the first steps out of the "Valley of the Shadow".
To all fathers and those of you unable to cry: We wish you healing tears and the ability to express your grief.
To those of you who are exhausted from grieving: We wish you the strength to face just one more hour, just one more day.
To all others with special needs that we have not mentioned: We wish you the understanding you need and the assurance that you are loved.
From a speech by Former TCF President, Joe Rousseau.
Taken from the January, 1999, TCF Houston-West chapter newsletter
I Wonder
The question.
Was there pain?
Did you feel pain?
Or were you here one minute
And with God the next?
Was there a tunnel of light?
Or just darkness?
I choose to believe there was someone there for you.
I was not,
Maybe even an angel or two,
To ease your fear
When you walked toward
The Light of God.
Were you afraid?
Did you hear my cries for you?
Did you feel the loss,
The loss of a life briefly lived,
Or were you glad to go?
To go home to your place in Heaven.
I wonder these things.
I wonder where you are.
I wonder how you are.
Do you think of us?
Without you, a piece of our heart has been taken away.
Are you in pain,
Or does the Light of Heaven erase the pain?
When will I see you again?
I wonder when your soul left behind what I knew as my son?
I am your Mother,
And I don't know how it can be that you are okay without me.
Each day I push down the pain in my chest,
The pain that is always there.
The pain of wondering~
What happened to my SON?
Most of all
I wonder?
Why you?
And why didn't you buckle your safety belt?
I hope that you are whispering that to all of your friends.
Whispering...
THIS IS MATT
BUCKLE UP
If I had, I would be with you
Written with love by Jackie Riesland, Matt's Mom
My dear friends, and fellow bereaved parents,
This is what I wish for each and every one of you. This is my Christmas card to the friends here that I do not have a snail mail address
for ~
I wish you a peaceful holiday season, filled with joyous memories of your children, surrounded by loving family and friends. I wish you a happy dream of your child on Christmas Eve, or a sign that he or she is with you, in spirit. Keep your eyes open for those signs. I do believe that our children (or God, on their behalf, possibly) do attempt to communicate to us, but that we walk around in our own personal daze, and are often oblivious, ourselves. I wish for the burden of guilt to be lifted from all of us who are feeling guilt over the death of our children. I wish for us to be able to purge ourselves of the anger that resides within so many of us (me included!, though I finally forgave the newspaper editor). I wish for each of us to feel their loving presence, and the arms of God wrapped around us. I wish, most of all, for us to be able to experience ONE MOMENT of true joy this holiday season, in knowing that we had such special, incredible children, and that they will NEVER truly leave us. Just ONE MOMENT reflecting on their precious life, and the joy that it has brought to us, and the depth that it has added to our character.
I wish you all the best. Now, and into the coming year.
Sincerely,
Copyright 2003 Cecilia Gabrielli, MaxzMom
~ Candles In December ~
My sadness seems reflected in the music that I hear....
Every young one's glowing face reminds me you're not here.
Shoppers crowd the festive stores, emotions all run high,
This world I was a part of once, seems to pass me by.
This season's meant for happy times, for Love, Warm hearts, and cheer,
But grieving families around the world Remember those not here.
We struggle through the season, Lighting candles to proclaim,
Our children aren't forgotten, Round the world our candles flame.
I slowly pass through the gates thrown wide, One clear, cold Christmas day,
No toys or gifts do I bring ---Those are gifts of yesterday.
I carry with me just a polished heart Of granite made,
And walk with grief to where my baby lies,
In a silent silvered glade.
"Merry Christmas, Love" I whisper, The quiet words seem so forlorn,
"I've brought my heart for you to keep,
My gift, This Christmas morn.
It is filled with all my love, Though this one's carved of stone,
I'll place it here --- it will be near ---You'll never be alone."
Please keep my gift, Beloved child close to where you lie,
And know my love surrounds you
Until the day, I too shall die.
Author Unknown
My Dearest Son, Max,
On Wednesday, you would turn 16. You would be driving. I wouldn't mind the extra insurance cost, really. You could have the Taurus. It's parked right there in the driveway. I can imagine you, in high school, on the snowboarding team, of course. Probably still on the basketball team, too, playing with guys more than a foot taller than you. A little taller, still handsome, braces off, and with even MORE girls calling the house for you.
Son, your Brothers, your Sister, your Dad, David and I, all miss you beyond words. We would give anything to have you here with us now. Not one day goes by that we do not remember you, and long for you to be here with us. We know that we will meet again, and we all look forward to that day.
We will celebrate your birthday in Yosemite, with more than 300 families around the world, who will be celebrating the lives of the children that left before them, from their homes. I imagine that you will all know that the balloons and prayers we are sending are for each of you. Listen carefully for your name, son. It will resound from many places on this day, along with many others. You will hear my voice at sunrise today, calling your name, along with the others. We are saying your names, so that all of you, as well as the rest of the world, knows that none of you have been forgotten. You will be forever loved, and forever missed.
Stay near us, as we all need you. Remember how much you are loved. Never, ever forget.
Forever and ever,
Your Mom
Time will Ease The Hurt
The sadness of the present days
Is locked and set in time.
And moving to the future
Is a slow and painful climb.
But all the feelings that are now
So vivid and so real
Can't hold their fresh intensity
As time begins to heal.
No wound so deep will ever go
Entirely away;
Yet every hurt becomes
A little less from day to day.
Nothing can erase the painful
Imprints on your mind;
But there are softer memories
That time will let you find.
Though your heart won't let the sadness
Simply slide away,
The echoes will diminish
Even though memories stay.
Author Unknown
MY YOUNGEST ZACKERY
My sweet baby boy,
My life was so complete;
But, the pain of losing you,
I just can't defeat~
I miss you so much,
Love you more and more;
In having you I felt rich,
Now, I'm left feeling poor~
My love for you does not stop,
My wiggles, my squirtums;
I need you so very much,
For you, my heart, forever numbs~
I see your sweet face,
Your sight forever in my eye;
I smell your sweet smell,
I look for you, up in the sky~
I can't yet see you,
But, I know your there;
In the Heavens, up above,
Perhaps help will come, thru prayer~
Why can't you still be here on Earth,
Forever in my arms with me;
Why did you have to leave me,
My youngest ZACKERY!
Copyright 2003, Sharyn Zackery
Please Say His Name
Do you really think that I'm okay?
Though my son has gone away?
Do you think because I smile
I have forgotten for a while?
I have to tell you that you are wrong.
He's on my mind all day long.
Though I may not let it show
He's always on my mind you know.
Why do you turn when I speak his name?
Do you not know it causes more pain?
Can you comprehend how I feel?
My son was here...he was real.
I miss my child, but I must hide
The terrible pain I feel inside.
The lump in my throat it hurts so bad
because I can't cry although I'm sad.
I can barely speak his name
For fear that it might cause you pain.
I miss my Josh...I miss him so.
I just thought that you should know.
Even though I laugh and play...
I didn't forget my son today.
Please say his name now and then.
Please...say "Josh" again.
Copyright June 2000, Debbie Derosier
I'm Spending Christmas With Jesus Christ This Year
I see the countless Christmas trees,
Around the world below.
With tiny lights, like Heavens stars,
Reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular,
Please wipe away that tear.
For I am spending Christmas with
Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs,
That people hold so dear.
But the sounds of music can't compare,
With the Christmas choir up here.
For i have no words to tell you,
The join their voices bring.
For its beyond description,
To hear and Angel sing.
I can't tell you of the splendor,
Or the peace here in this place.
Can you just imagine Christmas,
With our Savior, face to face?
I'll ask Him to light your spirit,
As I tell Him of your love.
So then pray one for another,
As you lift your eyes above.
Please let your hearts be joyful,
And let your spirits sing.
For I am spending Christmas in Heaven,
And I'm walking with the King!
Author Unknown
Chase the Rainbow my Son
It feels like a lifetime, since you went away,
On that heart wrenching day.
Thirty one years of memories are mine to keep,
My life feel's so incomplete, all i do is weep.
In my mind's eye, i see you staring at the sky,
Now i know you were saying good bye.
I remember the rainbows you love,
You said they meant, a good sign from above.
I pray for clouds of pretty colors, mixed with yellow,
In hopes you feel a mother's love below.
Your soul is in heaven, there is no mistake,
Our Heavenly Father, your soul He did take.
Chase those pretty rainbows my son,
i'll chase one with you when my earthly time is done,
as the Lord will bless me with a new leg, so i can run.
Dedicated to my son Ricky, who died i year ago..10-18-02
Also to his brother Larry, who died 33 years ago,6-5-70
Missed so much by their step-Dad, Brothers Tommy & David
Copyright Doris Nickler, 2002
I'm An Angel Now
One night I cried to Jesus as I sat beneath the tree,
I looked into the open sky and hoped He'd answer me.
I am lost, dear Lord, I've traveled far but I still seem to roam,
Please light the way and lead me, Lord;
I need to get back home,
I told Him of my burdens and of the sadness in my heart,
That from His gracious love I'd never felt so apart.
Why did you take my child, Lord? I cannot understand!
I'm angry, Lord, I'm missing him. I'm drowning in my sorrow.
Please help to heal my yesterday and face each new tomorrow.
It was then I heard his gentle voice and felt his presence near,
How I wanted to hold him as I cried another tear.
He said, "Mommy, I'm an angel now, my spirit will be free,
I'm an angel now in Heaven so please don't cry for me.
I was chosen by our Lord above and now I'm in His care,
When you need me, look inside your heart, I promise to be there.
No one can ever take away our bond with one another,
For I'll always be your precious child as you will always be my mother.
So if you cannot find your way or the road to home seems far,
Just look up to the heavens and I'll be your guiding star."
He said, "Mommy, I'm an angel now, my spirit will be free,
I'm an angel now in Heaven--no need to cry for me.
Author Unknown
Poem to Angel
I gave you my hope, my love, and my dreams
Before I had ever seen your precious face
And now that time will never come
For you have been placed in Heaven’s grace
I wanted to hold you, and tell you of your grandma
And now, she will hold you and tell you of me.
I know that you follow me thru my day
I feel your presence always there.
Thank you for knowing I loved you
...and for loving me back
Copyright 2003, Sara Morgan ~ Angel's
Mommy
Dear Mom and Dad:
I wish I could have said “good-bye”. It sometimes seems unfair
that I never even was able to say “hello”.
I am OK now; everything is better. I miss you and always will,
but I believe we will be together again, in time, for all time. Right
now though, that seems like an eternity. In time, it will be for
eternity.
Please, remember me, use my name, tell my family and your
friends about me. Never forget me or pretend I didn’t exist.
Thanks for all you did for me. Mom, thanks for putting up
with the changes in your body; thanks for everything you shared
with me. Thanks for talking to me; I know your hopes and
dreams for me. Thanks for the songs you sang, and for those
gentle pats you gave me while I floated inside. You may not
realize, but the rhythmic contracting of your heart helped me
rest peacefully and reassured me. As I grew, I could feel your
heart beating better and better, and it gave me such a wonderful
sense of comfort.
Thanks for the tears you shed for me. I know you did
everything you could for me and I am fortunate to have you for
my Mother. I am sorry for the pain and sadness you have
suffered.
Dad, thanks for being there for Mom and me, It must have
been so hard for you, trying to be strong and brave for Mom
when you were confused, upset and afraid yourself. I will miss
growing up with you, wrestling, being tossed in the air, just sitting
on your lap learning how to use the TV remote control. Please
don’t ever forget about me. I will not forget you.
If there is something I have learned, it is that you will not find
the answer to the “why” of this, not now anyway. God did not
make this happen, but He will help you live, love and laugh
again. Sometimes that can seem very difficult when you hurt
and so badly want answers.
I want you to live today; be happy. Bring laughter back into
the house. Dare to dream again. You know so much better than
many that life is often too short, too unpredictable. Tomorrow is
never guaranteed.
I would rather this all be a very bad nightmare, but I can do
nothing to change that now. However, you can make something
good out of my death if you use it as an opportunity to love each
other a little more, and reach out. There are so many hurting
people out there who need a hand, or a hug or a “hello” or just
someone to listen. Don’t be afraid to admit you may be one of
them. Be gentle with each other.
On a still, clear night, look for me, out there in the peace and
quiet. Look up, not by the Big Dipper or the Milky Way, but over
there in the corner of the sky. See that small, twinkling star you
never noticed before?
One more thing before I go, thanks a lot for everything you
did for me. Thanks for caring and sharing. Thanks for trying and
for crying. I love you, lots. And Mom and Dad, “good-bye”,
“good-bye for just a little while longer”.
Love you,
Angel Marie
Don't Hide My Daughter
Don't hide my daughter
Behind that wall of silence
The comfortable one that
Makes your forget she ever was
For I will always hold her memory
In the sun and the stars, and my very breath
Just because she was only here a moment
Don't try to pretend that she never was
I don't...and I never will
A Mother's love resounds beyond the Earth
To the Heaven above as she pictures her tender child
In the arms of those who have gone before her
and will cradle my child in a loving embrace
and tell her all about a loving family on Earth
Who wishes she could be with them so much
and tries desperately to understand why she isn't
Don't hide my daughter's name behind your silence
Though you may never speak her name
It resonates through my very soul
Lighting the candle in my heart
That will forever burn in honor of my littlest Angel.
Copyright 2003, Sara Morgan ~ Angel's
Mommy
Last night while I was trying to sleep,
My son's voice I did hear.
I opened my eyes and looked around
But he did not appear.
He said, "Mom you've got to listen,
You've got to understand.
God didn't take me from you, Mom
He only took my hand.
When I called out in pain that night,
The instant that I died,
He reached down and took my hand,
And pulled me to His side.
He pulled me up and saved me
From the misery and pain
My body was hurt so badly inside,
I could never be the same.
My search is really over now,
I've found happiness within,
All the answers to my empty dreams
And all that might have been.
I love you and miss you so,
And I'll always be nearby.
My body's gone forever,
But my spirit will never die!
And so, you must go now,
Live one day at a time.
Just understand
God did not take me from you,
He only took my hand.
Author (unknown)
MY SON
YOU WERE HERE AND IN AN INSTANT YOU WERE GONE.
I MISS YOU SO MY CHILD MY SON
JUST A BABY NOT SO LONG AGO.
EIGHTEEN YEARS GONE BY IN A BLINK
TOO SUDDEN TOO SOON
FOR YOU TO GO,
I MISS YOU SON
I MISS YOUR PRESENCE
I MISS YOUR HUMOR
I EVEN MISS YOUR TEASING
MY TEENAGE BOY, ALMOST A MAN.
YOU MADE ME PROUD
AND SOMETIMES YOU MADE ME MAD
BUT MOST OF ALL YOU MADE
THE MOST PRECIOUS OF TIMES.
HEAVEN BECKONS TO US ALL,
I KNOW WE ARE NOT IMMORTAL
SO SOMEDAY I TOO WILL BE WITH YOU,
AT THE GATES OF HEAVEN
WITH YOUR SMILE TO BRIGHTLY GREET ME,
AS I TOO COME TO BE WITH OUR LORD,
JESUS CHRIST. AT HIS FEET WE WILL SIT
AND THANK HIM FOR THIS WONDROUS TRIP
THROUGH LIFE'S STRUGGLES AND BROKEN DREAMS
THROUGH A LEARNING PROCESS OF PAIN AND LOVE
AND IMPORTANT THINGS LIKE,
HEALTHY CHILDREN AND BEAUTIFUL DAYS
THE SMELL OF NEW HAY, AND PEOPLE WHO CARE
SOMETIMES WE TREASURE UNIMPORTANT THINGS,
THE LOSS OF YOU HAS MADE ME SEE
WHAT I HAD AND HOW IT SHOULD BE.
I MISS YOU SON AND LOVE YOU SO,
EACH DAY, I COME ONE STEP CLOSER TO YOU
YOU ARE ONE OF MY TREASURES
AND FOR NOW I AM MISSING YOU
Copyright 2003. Jackie Riesland,
written for her
son Matt
Tell Me
Tell me that you feel this emptiness too
Tell me, that you are also in pain.
Tell me, that you miss too
And that you still love me.
Tell me if there is life after death
And if god really exists
Tell me, why there are wars
And why it is sad here.
Tell me why does life go on
And how do i overcome the pain
Tell me why sometimes I am happy and I smile
Even though you are not coming back.
Tell me, what is yearning
And how to make it go away
Tell me, why the tears are choking my throat
And why they are always so uncalled.
Tell me, how to move on
Tell me how to forgive
Tell me, why I cant forget,
After all these years.
Tell me what you haven't said
Tell me that you are sorry
And that you are coming back.
Copyright 2003. Reut. All rights reserved
Sadness Prevails
Max,
So many nights I sit here working, distracting myself. A vain attempt at feeling less. Go through the motions as I might, nothing can erase this sadness which prevails. The
gray veil that covers everything. I appear to go on living. To those in our community, your friends' parents, strangers, neighbors that see me, I may seem "okay", or as if I am "handling it well". They have no idea. Nor do I wish them to. Let them think I'm strong. Let them believe I am a little tougher, even a little harder than they are. Let them live with that false sense of security, and believe that if their child died, they would "just die!". Little do they know that many of us (surviving parents) feel as if we are (at least) partially dead. Zombified. The opinions of the masses mean little to me. The sorrow, the deep sadness which envelopes me is not something that I choose to publicize. It is only among friends who understand that I can express it. It is only with those who I consider worthy that I will bear my soul.
Remembering the sound of your squeaky voice, your insistent determination, your grit and strength of will, your perseverance in the face of adversity. If will and determination, if drive or a work ethic had anything to do with whether or not someone would survive, you would have surely outlived us all. If strength of character determined the length of time a heart would beat, yours would be beating into the next century, for certain. I do recall the time that you told me, not long before you died "I am asking for your help, because I need it!". Those words echo in my ears and in my heart, and I do so wish that I could turn back the hands of time and do something to intervene. Though you were speaking of something else at the time, it is as if those words were somehow eerily prophetic. As was the hike the day before your death. That afternoon, coming up that hill in that torrential storm that came out of nowhere. So similar to the situation that would occur the following day. In retrospect there were signs that a storm might hit. In retrospect I can imagine signs that you were ill. Your face is noticeably thinner in some of the most recent photographs of you. Your color a little different. And you have this glow about you. I honestly believed it was just you "growing up", when it was actually you slipping away.
It is difficult for me to look at the whole picture. I can remember you in pieces. I can remember specific events. What is unbearable (for now) is to look at who you were as a person. Not the things you did, not the events that occurred. But you, your dreams, your essence, your values, your spirit. It is difficult for me to think of you three-dimensionally. The photos and the video are comforting. The little things you made me help to ease the ever-present pain. The last birthday card you gave me "Super Mom", and the comments you wrote, they make me smile, though the comment means something different to me today than it did when I first read it. Easier to think of you in an ethereal way than in a tangible way. For now, that is how I will have to remember you. Bits and pieces. I can't bear to visualize you in your entirety at this point in my life. So for now, son, that will have to be enough. So, you, out there in the ether, I believe, Max, that you can hear me now. I must believe. Max...never forget how important you were, and remain. Remember how much mom loves you. Forever and ever.
Your mom.
Copyright 2003. Cecilia Marie Gabrielli.
All rights reserved
In Honor of Alayna Nicole Griffin's Birthday June 23, 2003
She came into this world with very little warning early one sunny June
morning. She left this world with no warning one sunny May afternoon. Such a
short time she spent with us and yet in that short time she gave us so much.
Alayna would have been six this year but we won’t have her here to celebrate.
A sudden illness that attacked her heart -Myocarditis- took her from us.
We learned in that one moment just how precious our children are.
In her almost four short years, she was teaching me as I was teaching her.
She showed me in her own little way that life is for living.
Look under rocks and check behind bushes, you never know what treasures you
may find. Run and skip from one place to another. It’s much more fun than
just walking. You can learn a lot if you ask many, many questions.
There is much to be said for snowflakes and raindrops.
All of her lessons were very simple but all were so significant each in their
own
special way. She taught me how easy it is to find pleasure in very simple
activities. Those crayon and coloring book moments are fun.
Savor the magic of sidewalk chalk transforming driveways into rainbows.
Be an intrepid hunter of “wormies” after it rains.
Alayna reached out and touched many with her dazzling smile.
She could quickly become the center of attention in a room.
There was just something special about her.
Her leaving was such a loss to this world. She had so much to offer. She
taught me lessons of life while she was here and she continues to teach me
even
though she is gone. No one has control over life-no matter how hard one tries.
Hug every chance you get. Do what you enjoy doing and do it now.
Do not hesitate to say I’m sorry. Life can change in an instant with no warning.
We learned that one sunny afternoon in May.
Cherish your children and realize what you have before you.
To those of you who knew Alayna, and to those who never met her but are
reading this, should you think of her, go find your child, give them a hug
and say I love you. You will not only be honoring her memory but you will be
living the most important lesson she was sent to teach us all.
We love you Alayna.
Copyright 2003. All Rights Reserved Karen Griffin
Unforgettable Max
Max,
I remember you before you were
born. I remember you when you
were growing inside of me.
I remember the day you were born.
When we picked your name. Your
perfect little face, your beautiful eyes.
I remember when you learned
to walk. How you always had a
sweet smile on your little face.
I remember your dark, shiny curls,
and that you looked like an angel
from a renaissance painting.
I remember your brothers and
sister and how they loved to
hold you, and carry you around.
I remember you sitting on my
lap quietly, while I worked. Me
typing away with your head on
my chest. I remember you sleeping
next to me on your little bed, right next to mine.
I remember preschool. I remember the little plays.
You singing in chapel. I remember kindergarten
and that awful speech teacher.
I remember the years with Mrs. Beeler.
How nurturing Mrs. B and Mrs. Beeler were.
They really loved you, Max
The campouts with your class,
and the family picnics.
I remember how sad you were
when your dad and I divorced.
I remember when we first moved
to Davis. I remember riding bikes
with you to the farmer's market.
I remember the surprise birthday party
you kids threw for me that
first year here. I remember
buying your first skateboard at Ground Zero.
I remember the meetings with teachers.
How you always worked so hard to keep up.
Mackie, I just found your most recent test
scores. You were off the scale
in calculation, academic applications,
applied problems, and writing samples.
Age 16-18 equivalent.
I wish you could have seen them.
I remember how you refused to be allowed
a lighter load. You never
wanted exceptions made for you.
I remember how you loved basketball,
and playing with your friends.
I remember that you played
sports with kids nearly a foot
taller than you, and held your own.
I remember the movies. You
loved going to the movies.
You should have been a critic.
I remember every one of our family vacations.
Thank you for that, David.
We didn't have many family
vacations before I found you.
I remember our last trip to
Tahoe over Christmas and New Year's.
How you spent $25 of your
own money to win that
little smiley face watch
for me. And when you gave
it to me you said that it
was so that I could always
carry your smile with me.
I remember the last day
we were together. And how
when I left to pick things
up and run around
that day I called you.
I called you five times
that day. I am SO glad
that I was able to tell you
"I love you Mackie" each time.
I remember coming
into your room just before I
left, to give you the spending money
I later found in your wallet…unspent.
I remember telling you then…
I love you Max. I'll call you!
And kissing you goodbye.
I remember hearing the news.
A piece of my heart is gone
forever. But there, where that
piece was, I still have ALL of
these memories, and more.
I will NEVER forget you.
You were an example to all of us.
Your love, hard work, perseverance,
and spirit, can never be erased.
Never forget how much
Mom loves you.
Forever and ever-
Your Mom.
Written by Cecilia Marie Gabrielli.
Copyright 2002. All Rights Reserved
Angel in Disguise
On this earth as one of us
Living a life as we all do
Hopes and dreams
For what's to come
An angel in disguise
Something unseen
Something untouched
Something unknown
Something special
An angel in disguise
You could light up a room
Your smile could brighten the darkest of days
Your voice filled with love
Eyes that could make ones troubles go away
An angel in disguise
Walking this earth as a person
Bringing happiness to those you knew
Giving complete love
Blessing the lives of so many
An angel in disguise
A heart of gold
A job well done
A special life gone
Memories of love in my soul
An angel in disguise
Here in disguise
Your job complete
It was time to return home
No longer an angel in disguise
You are now an angel with wings
Forever loved
Forever my angel.
Copyright 2002, Holly Graham, all rights reserved
ENDINGS
I stare at a photograph of you and of me
And sadly I face the things that never will be
For suddenly you're gone from me
And I'm left alone
With loneliness and emptiness
That I've never known
Why did this happen
To tear us apart?
Ending our daydreams
And breaking my heart.
I think of you constantly each hour of the day
And send love to follow you,
Though you're far away.
I'll not forget you dear,
It's no use to try
But as long as my heart is true
Honey, somehow I'll muddle through
And tearfully, I kiss you good-bye
And sadly, I kiss you good-bye
©
Copyright 2002 Peggy Allguire, all rights reserved
Happy Mother's Day from Heaven
(Written by Auntie Mary Rose Paterson, from Jordy Lee Englant to his Mommy, Randa Englant 05/10/2003)
A little angel came to me in a dream saying
"Would you send my Mommy flowers please?
So she will know that from Heaven above
her son is sending her all his love
and wishing her a Happy Mothers Day."
Copyright 2003 Mary Rose Paterson
"Do you Mind?"
Do you mind if I kneel for awhile,
and wish you the best?
Wherever you are?
Are you lost?
Do you need help, out?
Is this rest, what you wanted?
Do you miss me?
I miss you.
Things were cut way too short,
I never said the things I really
wanted to say.
And I said a lot of things I never
really wanted to say.
I lay in bed, with my memories,
thinking. How things were before,
about all the things we didn't do,
or didn't say to each other.
I know sometimes you come around,
and put your hand on my back,
just to watch me jump.
I know sometimes your there,
preaching your support,
when things fall apart.
Did you mind,
that I knelt before you,
and said the things,
I never thought I'd have to say,
in a cemetery,
to someone I knew.
©
Copyright 2002. Zack van Brakle
For Elizabeth
Elizabeth, my darling,
I'm so lonely now you've gone...
You were my ray of sunshine,
You were my precious one.
Your courage so inspired me,
And other people too.
I built my world around you,
Just loved to be with you.
You said I was your "special Mum" -
You'd such a loving heart,
And now that I am all alone
My world just falls apart.
I long to have your courage,
And make you proud of me -
But who am I without you?
Just "I" instead of "we"...
At times I think I hear you
Urging me along,
Saying, "Mum, I love you!
I'll help you to be strong!
So, keep your Faith
Although you're blue -
With God, I'm watching over you!"
Elizabeth, my only child,
Oh! how I miss your smile,
Your laughter and your loving ways!
You made my life worthwhile.
These tears are never-ending,
My heart so full of pain,
But someday I will see you
And hold you close again.
So, darling, as you travel on
In realms of joy above,
Please comfort me -
I miss you so...
You'll always have my love.
You blessed my life, Elizabeth,
For twenty seven years.
And so I thank you, angel,
And smile through all my tears.
With all my love forever, from Mum
Remembering Megan
By Holly Graham for her sister
As the strings slip through my hand
I think of the beauty you brought to this land
I watch as the balloons float away
Just like when you left me that day
They float into the beautiful cloud
I hear you laughing loud and proud
Up to the heavens above
Carrying a note from me with love
The life you lived celebrated this day
That is what the balloons are meant to say
Receive the balloons with gentle care
They symbolize the love that is still there
Balloons, I release you to float away
Make sure you get up to our loved ones this day
We release you into the sky
We watch you float, we watch you fly
Loved ones, catch these balloons on this bittersweet day
Read the notes and then go play
Keep us in your hearts
You may be gone but we shall not part
So float in the heavens and play in the clouds
Releasing the balloons from our hearts so proud
Copyright 2003. Holly
Graham. All rights reserved.
The Grief Quilt
Dedicated to All Bereaved Parents
Those suffering souls with broken hearts
meet and share with one another
expressing the pain of their bereavement
to try to heal and give comfort to each other
We meet in anguish from our losses
tears ready to flow from our eyes
discussing the most painful parts of our lives
trying to find answers to the what ifs and whys
We confront the devastating reality
rubbing salt in our gaping wounds
trying to live when we want to die
together in this grief filled room
We examine each other's pain
each story a world apart
yet so close in emotional impact
we find comradery form the start.
We are everywhere from all walks of life
grieving for our loved one who as died
losing a son or daughter
on whose love we had relied
We would like to curl up in a ball
fade out and find relief
but there is are others that rely on us
who are suffering in their grief
Be compassionate and show others your heart
give love and it returns
help with the conditions of other's mourning
and ease their soul that aches and burns
We know all too well
the pain they feel is real
together we can hold their hand
so their sorrow can too can begin to heal
That is why we are here together
as we share our tender moments
we can scream and cry, laugh or rage
expressing the emotions of our laments.
In giving we shall receive
and forget our pain for awhile
be able to laugh again
and attempt and honest smile
This is not an easy task
for our energy is constantly drained
we have to be selfish and good to ourselves
or lose anything we have gained.
We can only give what we have
so let yourself receive
let people know of your pain
show them that you still grieve
Even good people tend to forget
not seeing things with our eyes
their ears don't hear what we hear
they do not perceive our inner cries.
Some people are helpful, some are not
we have to pick and choose
catch a stranger unawares
and unload your pent-up blues.
Openly weep your sorrow
express that anger that lies inside
explore every avenue you can
find those fears that tend to hide
Talk about IT whenever you can
for IT colors your very being
every atom of your essence
that affects the way you are seeing
A cloak of intangible thickness ad depth
a patchwork of pain that covers our soul
it's pure weight drains us down
and begins to take its toll
It is an overwhelming blanket
this grief quilt that we wear
but it will and does get lighter
if we let go of guilt and fear.
Fear that we shall never recover
that we shall always feel like this
guilt of letting go of the pain
of our loved one we so dearly miss.
Guilt for being angry with God
fear we did something wrong
how could He be so cruel
and give us such pain for so long?
It is a Herculean task we are asked to do
that takes time and many tears
but being here shows you want to heal
in the coming weeks, months, and years.
God bless you all
Copyright 2002. Mitch Carmody.
All rights reserved.
Adrian
On a wet and stormy Sunday
We were all wrapped up indoors
A group of youthful friend
Climbed rocks and walked the shores
Out from Inishmurray the sea began to roll
And built up a thunderous wave
That crashed at Mullaghmore
The girls had viewed all this
From high up on the road
And to their disbelief
There were only three
Where earlier there were four
An earthquake hit Moycullen
When the news came over the phone
That Adrian was lost
A hundred miles from home
No alarm bells were sounded
No SOS was sent
But the community just gathered
And to Mullaghmore they went
NO job was too major
Or no task was too small
When they gathered in their hundreds
To the meetings in the hall
By cars, by coach or mini-bus
The people made their way
It may be early morning
Or later in the day
For those who could not travel
Did their work from home
Supplying the soup and sandwiches
Apple tarts and scones
There were some places new to us
But will never be forgotten
The first we heard of Mullaghmore
Was that of Lord Mount Batten
Cliffony, Bundoran, Finner and Grange
Known to those who went to camp
And fired the Rifle Range
They walked the strands of Streedagh
O'Connors Island and Bunduff
The slippery rocks at Merlin
Along Tulloghan to the Duff
The divers dived and searched in vain
The boats they ploughed the waves
The helicopter hovered over the reefs
And the cameras scanned the deep
McHugh's of the Pier House Hotel
For you that were there I don't have to tell
They turned on the heat and opened the doors
And for some weeks we made it our home
The people of Sligo and around Mullaghmore
Did all they could and could do no more
The people of Moycullen when put to the test
Were never found wanting and gave it their best
The crew from Killybegs were there in good time
Were willing and able the cliff face to climb
The men from Killala who rescue at sea, made
Out the tide tables and where each one should be
The Garda Siochana were there in great strength
Took care of the searchers where ever they went
Struck to the task in hail, rain or shine
Got the pipe smoking clergy to fall into line.
ADRIAN
You did not get a chance to say Good-bye
Accidents happen and God alone knows why
You were happy that day on the rocks
If only we could turn back the clock
Our intentions were to lay you to rest
That did not happen the Lord knows best
We read in the Gospels you are just asleep
Farewell dear Adrian may you rest in peace.
Copyright 2003. Nora O'Sullivan.
All rights reserved.
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